All Things Inspired

Fear! What is it about that word that makes us uneasy?

Fear! What is it about that word that makes us uneasy, start to tremble in apprehension, or begin to panic in thought? Fear, by definition, is the threat of harm, real or imagined. Has anyone ever asked you what your greatest fear is? I have often asked this question when I'm interviewing a prospective candidate for a job opening. The answer I hear 9 times out of 10 is "failure". I think that is the most typical answer, but is it the deepest possible answer to that question or just reactionary?

One of the best answers I've ever heard to that question was in the movie, "Coach Carter". The movie was based on a true story about high school basketball coach, Ken Carter, who asked the greatest fear question of a troubled student athlete on his team. The kid couldn't answer until he later, through difficult circumstances, understood what it meant. The answer he gave originated from a well-known quote from author Marianne Williamson. His answer was...

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.

The actual quote goes on, but those three lines are the synopsis of the meaning. Fear is not the threat of harm from an outside source as much as it is within our own capabilities and confidence to shine. Often people will compare or associate fear to faith. If you are a believer in the Almighty as I am, faith is a choice to believe in, whereas fear comes from a lack of knowledge or understanding. As I said, I believe in God, yet I have experienced fear often in my life. It's ok to fear if you don't dwell in it but overcome it with faith, and as importantly, faith in yourself. If you too are a believer, did you know that the phrase "do not be afraid" is written in the Bible some 365 times? Shouldn't that tell us something? Faith creates, where fear destroys. Faith provides confidence where fear promotes inadequacies. Faith experiences joy, while fear anguishes in worry. Faith and fear cannot co-exist. Only one can survive, and that is the one that you feed. If you have faith, you must also have faith in yourself. In doing so, you eliminate fear.

So, what do you have to fear anyway? The fear of inadequacy, as we mentioned before, is a common fear. Once you understand that you are important, and you have purpose in everything that you do, you will begin to see what is needed to eliminate fear. Let's look at some other common fears to be aware of...

Failure - I said that I hear this often in interviews. But you don't need to fear failure. You need to embrace it, for it is part of success. No failure is fatal in your progress toward growth unless you fail to learn from it.
Uncertainty - if you have not experienced this at some point in your life, you have not lived. It is common to experience uncertainty. It's how you prepare for it that's important. Often, we've discussed anticipating what could possibly happen in any given situation and having a plan to compensate for it. When you have this mental clarity, you can overcome the fear.
Rejection - another of the most common fears. Everyone wants to be accepted, but we all know that rejection is a part of life. Even if you are passionate about everything you do, rejection will rear its ugly head. If you give every opportunity your very best effort, then you have not failed and should not fear rejection but learn from it.
Change - we get so steadfast in our ways at times that the least little change shakes our world. By nature, we like to have an expectation of things being constant. Well, I have news for you. The only thing constant in life is change! Embrace change and have an open mind about what new and exciting opportunities might come your way and you will eliminate this fear.
Something bad might happen - I've seen numerous people in my lifetime that worried that something bad would happen. They dwell in the "what if's" worrying about a problem that doesn't yet exist. Engaging in this activity takes away your peace in the present.
Embarrassment - also referred to as Social Phobia, it's simply the fear of being embarrassed in front of other people, to the point people recluse themselves from any type of social setting. Don't let this fear isolate you from enjoying other people and social situations. Enjoying life banishes this fear.
Losing control - if you are a control freak, this is your greatest fear. Its' about being in control of every aspect of your life. There are always going to be things that are outside of our control. This again is where faith in Almighty God helps and putting trust in other people or other things will help you overcome this fear.

This touches on a few of the common fears in life. You may be experiencing some other type of irrational fear. The key to overcoming all fear is to face the fear in gradual controlled steps and continue to expose yourself to situations where fear exists. Then you begin to see that your fear should not be part of your rational thinking.

If you don't confront your fears, you can never conquer them. And, the fear you face today will only limit you tomorrow. You may have heard the analogy; ships don't sink because of the water around them, they sink because of the water that gets in them. In other words, don't let what's happening around you get inside your mind and weigh you down. The alternative, of course, is allowing fear to paralyze you.

How does this happen, that you become paralyzed by fear? Is it your mind's response to freeze? Your mind can be very powerful. So much so to the point your limbs feel heavy, your words are silenced, and you struggle to understand what is happening to you. This sounds like a physical response, yet it forms in our emotional psyche. Yes, our minds can trigger physical effects on our bodies from the stress generated by our fears.

In an article authored by Louise Delagran, MA, MEd entitled "Impact of Fear and Anxiety" she writes that: Fear can interrupt processes in our brains that allow us to regulate emotions, read non-verbal cues and other information presented to us, reflect before acting, and act ethically. This impacts our thinking and decision-making in negative ways, leaving us susceptible to intense emotions and impulsive reactions. All these effects can leave us unable to act appropriately.

While the tendency for us to run from or avoid our fears exists in most of us, the truth is you cannot outrun your fears. You simply must face them and overcome them. You must first understand what the source of your fear is and then force confrontation to overcome it.

Earlier we said that our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate but that we are powerful beyond measure. This might indicate that we fear our own success in life, and how we handle that success. In considering this possibility, next week we'll ask the question "do you fear success?" and address overcoming your fears; all of them! So, until next week, fear not and...

Be inspired! Inspire others!