All Things Inspired

Here is a simple fact to digest: We are not always in control!

There's a lot going on in our world today. At times it might seem like everything is on fire. Chaos abounds! Or so it seems. We've all been hit with the unexpected, when things don't quite go normal, or our way, if you will. When our world, as we know it, implodes putting us in dire straits, we become consumed by the overwhelming need and worrisome reaction of wanting to provide a solution to problems that we have no power or control over.

Here is a simple fact to digest: We are not always in control! This often leaves us to feel helpless. But it need not be that way. In fact, if we focus on the things that we can control, we put ourselves in the best possible situation most of the time. Regardless of the situation and how out of control things might seem in our life, there are three things we can control every day:

Our attitude and how we adjust it as needed
Our effort to continue the process even though we feel out of control
Our actions in response to the uncontrollable situation

Austrian psychiatrist, Viktor Frankl, famously coined the term "Control the Controllables", which he describes as a process of assessing risk and addressing viable solutions to challenging situations. In this two-week topic on controlling the controllables, we'll attempt to define what controlling the controllables is about and why it is important. We'll also address preparing your mind to control what you can and shedding worry about that which you cannot control. We'll identify some things that you can't control versus things you can control, and how to improve your focus on the things you can control.

What exactly does it mean to control the controllables? It's a process to identify the control that you have over circumstances and situations. By prioritizing your actions, efforts, and behaviors, you can determine how you respond toward positive change that is within your control. I want you to visualize in your mind an image of three overlapping circles. We'll use this description to illustrate how you should look at controlling the controllables. Again, visualizing in your mind, the three circles are side by side. There are two polarizing circles of influence, one at each end. The circle on the left end represents "Things you CAN control." The circle on the right represents "Things you CANNOT control." These two circles don't meet or touch one another. Now, in the middle circle, overlapping each of the other two circles, is the neutrality we label as "THINGS THAT MATTER." The area where "things that matter" overlaps the circle of "things you can control" represents what you should focus on; things that matter that you can control. Contrarily, the area where "things that matter" overlaps the circle of "things you cannot control" represents what you should leave to faith; things that matter that you cannot control. Having faith that those situations will work out as the should will allow you to focus your efforts on the things that matter that you can control.

Controlling the controllables is important because too often we focus more on the uncontrollable. This can be driven by emotions such as pride, or unrealistic expectations that things should just function as normal all day, every day. The more attention and energy we direct to those conditions, the more challenged our limitations become. And as a result, when we hit that wall of the uncontrollable, we lose our ability to have a driven plan (built from what we can control) to compensate for what we cannot control. That's when we begin to have a feeling of helplessness. As we continue along this topic, reimagine the three circles we described in the last paragraph. Understand the two circles of influence and how they relate to the neutrality of things that matter. Then you will better understand where you should focus and why controlling the controllables is important.

Once you understand the importance of controlling the controllable, you can begin to prepare your mind to control what you can control and begin shedding the pursuit of that which you cannot control. The more you apply this principle, it will become instinctive for you to anticipate what disruptions might occur, what you'll be able to control and have, in advance, a plan to compensate for what you cannot control. There are some things you can practice to begin preparing your mind to control what you can control. Let's look at a few of these practices:

Just letting go of what you cannot control. It tends to be somewhat human nature to grasp onto things with a false sense of security that the more we grasp onto them, it enables us to control it more. Pursuing this course of action is nothing more than an illusion of control. This is where you must let go and place it in the overlap of "things that matter" and "things we cannot control". That's when you begin to leave it to faith.
Understand that the first thing you can control is your mind. Being mindful of the entire process of controlling the controllables is realizing that controlling the entire process is being able to let go of the things you cannot directly control. Ironically, the ability to let go of what you cannot control is what gives you control over the process. That, and being able to also develop a plan to compensate for the things you cannot control. This is where your power to regain your control comes from, through compensation for the uncontrollable.
Sometimes we just can't get out of our own way. If the first two bullet points above seem unmanageable, then you're going to have to deal with getting out of your own way. By not being mindful of letting go and controlling your mind, you're allowing contemplation and maybe even thoughts of obsession clutter your mind. This is blocking your path of growth. Although this path is more challenging, you can still seek to understand the process by stepping away momentarily and focusing your mind on the process of letting go. Once you've done this "reset", return to face the process of controlling the controllables.

The more you try to control something, the more it controls you. Free yourself, and let things take their own natural course. This is a quote from an unknown source but speaks volumes about trying to control what we cannot and freeing yourself by letting go and allowing things to just happen. When you are determined to take control of what you do have the power over rather than desiring the control over what you cannot, unbelievable change can begin to happen for you.

Next week we'll compare what we can versus what we cannot control, and then finish the topic on how to improve your focus on the things you can control. Until then, here's something you can control and take action on this week...

Be inspired! Inspire others!