All Things Inspired

Life is full of difficulties and misfortune. We call that adversity!

Life is full of difficulties and misfortune. We call that adversity. Many refer to adversity as character building opportunities. Through trying times and experiences, the knowledge gained from such, teaches us to become resilient. This week's quote by boxer Mike Tyson, "everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face" is the absolute perfect analogy of adversity. Everything is going fine, according to how you planned it, and then suddenly, out of nowhere, BAM! A difficulty or some kind of misfortune smacks you right in the face.

In using this boxing analogy, you find yourself retreating to the ropes as your adversary (difficulty and misfortune) charges in to finish you off. What do you do? The situation becomes overwhelming, and we can't think our way out of the crisis. However, if you have prepared yourself to respond well without overthinking, you will still triumph. That's what boxers do; training hard until certain techniques become automatic. One technique boxers are taught is the Triangle Theory (by word; coping, command and counter), a way of using 45 degree angles to put the fighter into an advantageous position. This strategy has been used similarly in military battles and other sports. You can do this as well in dealing with adversity. So, like a boxer, using a triangle of our own made of coping, command, and counter may help with battling adversity.

Coping:

The first angle to attack adversity is learning how to cope. Part of the coping process lies in determining what adversity is. Is it a situation that can and should be changed? If the situation doesn't require change or can't readily be changed, you still must focus on coping. Coping may involve a certain level of stress. To help alleviate this stress, try...

Making a to do list - can help keep you organized when handling several instances.
Practicing careful time management - to stay on top of crisis management, you must manage your time to be efficient.
Getting help - utilize resources available to you when you get hit.

Command:

Staying in command is the second angle. This is not about trying to control the uncontrollable, it's about staying in command of yourself. It's how you project coping skills as a strength. The key is being assertive, meaning expressing yourself effectively while simultaneously respecting the rights and beliefs of others.

Counter:

Coping and command are about breaking out of the paralysis triggered by sudden adversity. They're automatic actions that keep you going at the time your brain wants to freeze. Countering is when you reengage in the process. It can be proactive or strategic and should be goal oriented. You're not just coping with being hit anymore, you're beginning to return with your own attack.

We are never going to eliminate adversity, as it will always be in our face at the most inopportune time. However, it doesn't have to define you. How you deal with it is what defines your ability to deal with adversity. To put it another way, we can't change the direction of the wind, but we can adjust the sails to always reach our destination. The wind represents adversity in our lives, and we have no control over the wind. The sails are things such as resilience, awareness, positive thinking, our behaviors or reactions and our motivation. These are the adjustments you can make to set the sails to reach your destination.

In this article we are going to look at what is psychological resilience. But first, let's ask the question, "Are you missing the opportunity of adversity?" You may ask, "How can adversity be an opportunity?" Fair question. It's also fair to say that everyone at some point in their life has experienced that "punch in the face". It is inevitable that you will face these kinds of tests throughout life. Albert Einstein once said that in the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity. It's about how you respond to adversity that defines your ability to achieve your goals. Start by looking at these three simple ways to take advantage of the opportunity of adversity...

Become resilient - it takes time and effort to do so, however, the more challenges you face and respond to, the more you will build your resilience.
Get comfortable with discomfort - nobody likes adversity and the discomfort that's associated with it. It's more about facing your fears, the things that make you uncomfortable and learning to accept them and become comfortable with them.
Positive outlook - you will quickly realize that this is difficult. Regardless, the sooner you can change your perspective on an adverse situation, the quicker you'll experience an entire mindset change on adversity.

Let's investigate the psychology of resilience. What is it? Psychological resilience is the transformation in one's traits because of their experiences that enables them to focus on mental strength during crisis, difficulties, and misfortune. Can someone by nature possess psychological resilience? Yes, some people may be naturally resilient. But most people must develop psychological resilience. Here are some ways to develop psychological resilience:

Purpose - you must first discover what the meaning and purpose of your life is. What is your passion? How would you describe your values? Do you have a sense of your identity? These questions will lead to your quest to finding purpose.
Cultivate a mindset of growth - you must believe in your mind that challenges and difficulties are opportunities for growth and development.
Embrace discomfort and change - with a mindset shift you must be prepared to embrace discomfort and change. Without discomfort you can't easily adapt to change. Without change you cannot grow into a pillar of resilience.
Be mindful - understanding what the challenges and difficulties are will help your approach to resilience.
Have perspective - focus on what you see and adjust your vision to see the balanced view of challenges and difficulties. What are the positives and negatives of what is in front of you? This will help your path to problem solving.
Be energized by success - when you overcome challenges and difficulties, celebrate your success. Let it energize you and build your confidence in preparation for the next challenge ahead.
Be accountable but don't accept failure - you're going to fail at some point. Don't make excuses and don't take failure as finality. Fall, get up, dust yourself off, and try again!
Discipline - you must be disciplined to develop these skills toward resilience. Each of the previous steps to developing resilience leads to the next step. Discipline in your journey is key to becoming resilient.
Have an attitude of gratitude - life has a way of correcting our course. A way of humbling us if you will. Accepting this humbling correction with gratitude is a huge part of your development.

Friedrich Nietzsche, German philosopher from the 19th century said, "That which does not kill me makes me stronger." We may not realize it when it happens, but adversity can often be the best thing to ever happen to us. For where there is no struggle, there is no growth. In the next article we will cover how you can use adversity to your benefit.

Think about the boxing triangle method this week. Review the points on developing resilience, and I believe you'll be on your way to overcoming adversity. We'll look at the process of overcoming adversity more closely next week as well. Stay tuned...

Be inspired! Inspire others!