The traits of confident people are the accumulative wealth of life experiences!

The traits that confident people possess are the accumulative wealth of life experiences. It's not that there is anything more inherently special about a confident person compared to any of us. They just understand the value of those experiences and know they can become successful.

Confidence is not an innate characteristic of anyone. Confidence comes from putting together the developed traits we covered last week into formed habits. The first rule of confidence is knowing and accepting yourself in a way that most other people cannot relate to. American author Mitch Alborn said, "Accept who you are; and revel in it!"

Again, there is nothing special about a confident person that makes this possible. You are capable as well! If you truly want to become a more confident person you must first develop the traits we covered previously. Then take those developed traits and begin to form the following habits...

1. Don't seek the attention of others - if you are to become confident you should not need the validation of other people. Let your inner peaceful sense of security be your guide.
2. Take care of your body, mind, and spirit - to be confident you must value your well-being, and this does not just relate to your physical well-being, but also your mental and spiritual well-being. Wherever you choose to gain this source of well-being, be sure to devote time to nurture this habit.
3. Become an active listener - confident people don't focus on what they want to say next but rather engage in active listening with people around them. If you are confident, you want to take a sincere interest in others when they are speaking.
4. Ask questions to gain knowledge - while this may seem in contrast to active listening, confident people first listen and then engage in conversation by asking questions of others. Asking questions to find out more about someone or something allows you to gain the knowledge needed to engage in beneficial conversations. It gives you the power to choose your words and the timing of their delivery.
5. Don't be judgmental - for you to become a confident person, not only must you see value in yourself, but in others around you. If you reject others by criticizing them without knowing what they might be experiencing in their lives, you are devaluing your inner confidence by tearing down others. 
6. Be accountable - to display confidence, be quick to admit when you are wrong and follow that admission with an apology whenever necessary. If you hesitate or try to conceal your accountability until it is discovered, it damages your credibility.
7. Have courage - confident people tend to take risks that others wouldn't dare try. Having a lion's mentality is what tends to separate confident people from the rest. But remember, a lion's courage is not that fear doesn't exist within them, but that they have confidence to triumph over it.
8. Don't be too proud to ask for help - while you might think that confident people would see asking for help as a sign of weakness, it's quite the opposite. Confident people understand that the support of others is key to growth and success.
9. Learn to say no - confident people are typically leaders, not necessarily by title, but by the fact that other people are drawn to them and rely on them to lead the way. Being truly confident means you're honest with yourself and have depth of self-knowledge. In doing so, you know and respect your limitations. Learn to say no when necessary and you will avoid the trap of taking on too much. It is better to do a few things well than to do many things poorly.
10. Understand the inner source of your confidence - your strength, your confidence, your happiness, and your well-being all come from within. You have the power to control all these things. No one can diminish your strengths without your consent.

As you begin developing these habits of confidence, it might be helpful for you to engage in some confidence-building activities. It's your time! You can develop into a confident person. However, you must understand that confidence is like a rechargeable battery; if you don't plug it into a source of energy regularly it will become drained and void of any usefulness. Consider some of the following activities in building or recharging your confidence. Try a few of these activities and often repeat the ones that you find most effective in building your confidence.

1. Focus on positivity - we can all be the consummate pessimists at times. When you feel the tendency to view the worst aspects of things, focus your energy on turning that into a positive reaction. This really takes practice, but the payoff is highly beneficial.
2. Be self-acceptant - we all have imperfections. When we start examining these imperfections, our confidence can start wavering. You must look in that mirror and know that you are perfect!
3. Explore new possibilities - what is holding you back? Fear? Anxiety? Over-thinking the "what ifs"? Just do something. Off your seat and on your feet! Get moving! The more frequently you get out into your surroundings, your community, and engage in activities, the more your confidence will grow. 
4. Smile at someone - greet someone with a smile, look them in the eye, say hello and say, "It's good to see you". Go one step further and try this approach with strangers, I dare you!
5. Exercise - exercise has been proven to stave off depression. Choose to be happy, choose to exercise!
6. Organize your world - clear the clutter and make your environment more functionable.
7. Change one small unproductive habit in your life - everyone has a bad habit or one that could stand to be altered in a positive way. What can you change in your world that can make a difference in your outlook on life?
8. Do something crazy - we talk about creating habits to achieve success, but are you becoming predictable? If so, try changing something positive in your life that will surprise people.
9. Let go of the dock and swim - we've talked before about being afraid of letting go of the dock (that which is comfortable to us) and swimming in a new direction. Fear keeps us from exploring new areas and finding new things that might make an impactful impression on our lives. Sometimes you must put fear aside, let go of the dock and just swim.
10. Change your appearance - is it time for a fashion makeover? New hair design? Or maybe you've been driving the same bucket of bolts for years and want to treat yourself to a new car. What can you change that will build your confidence?

A final thought on confidence. We said in the title that the traits that confident people possess are the accumulated wealth of life experiences. Now is the time to start building your own life experiences. Always remember that your are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.

I heard an analogy once that perfectly describes believing in yourself. It goes like this:  a bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking, because the bird's trust is not on the branch but on its own wings. Always believe in yourself. Have confidence that you can...

Be Inspired! Inspire others!